Throwback Thursday: The Best Time to Build a Network
This was originally published in Bob Pike’s Creative Training Techniques Newsletter in May 2004.
A number of years ago, a friend of mine was president of a division of a Fortune 500 company. People called him all of the time wanting to connect with him, to “do lunch,” to ask him to serve on various charitable committees, or to go to dinner. He rarely had time to accommodate all such requests.
Then, my friend and his family took a vacation to London.
When he arrived in London, he called his office to check in. He couldn’t reach his secretary, so he called one of his vice presidents and asked where she was and whether anything was wrong.
The vice president paused awkwardly and then replied, “Don’t you know?”
What my friend didn’t know was that, after he left his office for the trip to London, his company’s home office announced that he was being replaced and named his successor. By the time my friend reached London, his secretary also had been replaced.
He had not been told anything by anyone prior to leaving for London because the company’s leadership didn’t want to ruin his vacation. It would be better, they reasoned, to deal with the situation after my friend returned home from his trip.
Needless to say, the trip to London was not one of the best family vacations for my friend.
Subsequently, he turned down an offer to take a vice-presidential position in another division of the same company.
Instead, my friend returned to the West Coast and started networking and looking for other career opportunities. What he soon discovered, however, was that he had failed to maintain any kind of network at all while he was in the employ of his former company.
In fact, he realized, the people who stayed in touch with him, and with whom he stayed in touch, all merited contact because of what he did, that is, because of his professional position, not because of who he was as a person.
Much to his dismay, he realized that the people who mattered most, the people who respected him as a person and who genuinely cared about him, he had ignored.
And now, more than ever, he needed something from them, whether it be advice, a listening ear, or introductions to those who might help him find a new job.
Suddenly, my friend recognized what a mistake he had made.
“I realized,” he said, “that the best time to maintain and build a network is when you don’t need one, when you have something to give. I will never make that mistake again.”
Duane’s Take
Bob’s story feels even more relevant today than when he first told it.
We live in a world full of LinkedIn connections, networking events, personal branding, and follower counts. But visibility is not the same thing as relationship.
His friend discovered something a lot of professionals eventually learn the hard way: many people were connected to him because of his position, not because of who he was. Once the position disappeared, so did many of the relationships.
That lesson matters in training and leadership too.
Too many people only start building relationships when they need something, a job, a client, advice, an opportunity. But the strongest networks are built long before that.
They’re built by helping people without expecting anything back.
By checking in when there’s no agenda.
By treating people like human beings instead of opportunities.
Social media has made it easier than ever to collect contacts while never building real trust. You can have an audience and still not have a network.
Real relationships take time. And usually, the people who matter most during difficult seasons are the ones who knew you beyond your title.
And as Bob used to say,
Until next time, add value and make a difference.