How to Say 'No' When Training Isn't the Solution (Without Losing Influence)

A tactical guide for trainers who want to stop wasting time and start driving real results

“Can you build a training for that?”

If you’ve worked in learning and development longer than a week, you’ve heard some version of this request. It usually comes from a place of urgency. Someone’s under pressure. There’s a performance issue, a team isn’t delivering, or a leader is getting complaints. And the knee-jerk solution is often the same: let’s build a quick course.

Most trainers say yes. Not because they’re convinced it’s the right solution, but because it feels easier to be agreeable. You want to help. You want to be seen as collaborative. And if you’re honest, sometimes pushing back feels risky. What if you lose trust? What if you’re seen as difficult?

But here’s the reality. Saying yes to the wrong training solves nothing. The real problem stays unresolved. Learners waste time. The business sees no change. And your credibility takes a hit, even though you delivered what they asked for.

The most experienced L&D professionals know the real skill is not in building courses. It’s in diagnosing the problem and influencing others to get to the right solution. That often starts with one of the hardest phrases to say in this role: “Let’s slow down before we jump to training.”

Why it feels risky to say no

The urge to be helpful is strong. Many trainers are wired to serve, to support, and to build fast. So when someone drops a request in your inbox, saying “no” can feel like letting them down. But agreeing to something that won’t work is worse. You end up spending time, budget, and goodwill on a solution that won’t change anything.

Pushing back, when done well, does not mean shutting people down. It means redirecting their energy toward something more effective. It signals that you care about results, not just requests. And in the long run, it positions you as a performance partner, not a content vendor.

Ask smarter questions, not harder ones

One of the best ways to shift the conversation is by asking calibrated questions. Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, used this technique in high-stakes conversations where saying the wrong thing could cost lives. His advice works just as well in a corporate setting.

Instead of saying, “I don’t think training will help,” ask, “What problem are we trying to solve?” Or, “How will we know this worked?” These types of questions slow the conversation down, get people thinking, and signal that you're trying to add value, not create friction. If you feel the tension rising, use what Voss calls an “accusation audit.” You might say, “This might sound like I’m trying to delay the process, but I want to be sure we’re solving the right issue.”

This approach keeps the conversation collaborative. You’re not shutting down their idea. You’re elevating the discussion to focus on outcomes.

Say no without saying the word

Jim Camp, in his book Start with No, offers a different but equally powerful approach. He argues that successful negotiation begins with the willingness to walk away. That doesn’t mean you reject requests outright. It means you don’t get emotionally invested in saying yes just to please someone.

When a stakeholder brings you a training request, instead of agreeing or pushing back immediately, try this: “Let’s take 20 minutes to map out what’s really going on. If it turns out training is the right solution, I’ll help you build something effective. But if it’s something else, we can explore other options.”

This opens the door to performance consulting without ever sounding resistant. You’re making it clear that your goal is to fix the problem, not just deliver content. Most importantly, you’re taking back control of the process.

Make them think, don’t just respond

In To Sell is Human, Daniel Pink reminds us that modern sales is more about asking than telling. When someone requests training, that’s your chance to invite reflection.

Ask, “What’s the consequence of doing nothing?” Or, “Where do people struggle most right now?” You might even ask, “How do you know this is a skill issue and not a system or process issue?”

These questions shift the burden of proof. Instead of defending why training may not be the right fix, you’re helping them explore the problem more deeply. And the best part? You come across as curious and thoughtful, not combative.

Offer better alternatives

Sometimes, training isn’t the answer. Sometimes, it’s part of the answer. Either way, if you’re going to say no to a course, offer something that solves the real problem.

It could be a coaching session with the manager. A job aid to support a new process. A performance analysis to clarify the root cause. Or even a facilitated conversation to uncover obstacles.

You can also formalize this process. Offer a short consult called “Training Isn’t the Answer” and make it a visible part of your services. When people know that you have a structured way of analyzing needs, they’re more likely to trust your judgment.

Be ready to lose a few battles

You won’t win every conversation. Sometimes, you’ll still be asked to build something you know won’t fix the problem. That’s okay.

What matters more is building your reputation over time. Be the person who asks better questions. Who cares about impact. Who won’t waste resources just to be agreeable.

When you show up with clarity, curiosity, and professionalism, people notice. And little by little, they stop seeing you as the training person. They start seeing you as someone who helps them solve problems and move the business forward.